Friday, October 18, 2019

KIM JONG-UN, STUD MUFFIN ON A HORSE

Think of how busy North Korean boss Kim Jong-un's mornings must be. He's up at the crack of 10 for a full-body massage given by completely willing and authentic virgins. That's followed by a long breakfast of imported delicacies, paid for with $100 bills he had to personally counterfeit himself. Then a shower and a quick trim of the old whitewalls and flattop so he can look his best for that day's execution of some high-ranking official by antiaircraft cannon.
Lunch is an ordeal unto itself, attended by a fawning collection of department ministers, generals, and that last guy who looked at him funny, hung up by his ankles from special hooks attached to the chandelier above the table.

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