9. Some seating tips:
(a) In the seat closest to the bus driver, there will be a woman. She will always be there. She will always be talking to the bus driver. You should never sit next to this woman unless you want to hear a detailed description of the colonoscopy her second cousin in Winnipeg had to undergo.
(b) If you are a man over the age of 30, do yourself a favour: Do not chat up the attractive twenty-something sitting opposite you. Her rent is outrageous, she’s enrolled in fine arts rather than medicine and her boyfriend won’t commit. Her life is hard enough already. All she wants is to be left alone. To her, you are a dirty old man, and inside her head her eyes are rolling.
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